kiss_evilgoodbye | beyond the rift } { public

I'm a vampire Slayer.

Two-thirds of my more intense relationships? Have been with vampires. Half, if you count Sam. Which ... I should probably do. Count Sam.

Anyway.

I lost my virginity to a vampire, after which he lost his soul and proceeded to come after all of my friends in a way of trying to destroy me. I'll admit, it kind of screwed me up. I was seventeen, and that kind of stuff when you're a teenager does damage.

I think part of the reason Riley never believed I loved him was because of what happened between me and Angel, and I hate that I did that to him. He was a really good guy and deserved better than that, and ... he's married now, so I guess he got it. And we're still friends so ... I guess that counts for something.

Riley's just saved me in more ways than anyone will ever know, and I'm really glad that he's still in my life, willing to work with me when I need it.

But in the end ... I'm worried that it will always be Angel, and that we'll just wind up destroying each other.

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I'll be right over.

[Giles is not in such a rush that he can't be polite.

He knocks on Buffy's door minutes later, trying to not look as worried as he is.

It's probably not working.]

[no it's not, and Buffy doesn't exactly look happy when she opens the door either]

Come on in.

[He takes two steps inside.

You know the look he's giving you, Buffy.

The look that says you've got some splainin' to do.]

[closes the door, goes to sit on the bed and ... is quiet for a long time]

So ... a lot happens after Adam. I get a sister, my mom dies, I take on a hellgod ... my life's pretty busy. And ... with that sister came a lot bigger responsibility than I had bargained for.

[He thought standing would be okay, but he was obviously wrong. He grabs a nearby chair and quite literally plops in it, carefully turning Buffy's words over in his head (complete with a stunned look on his face) before asking his next question.]

So Joyce... got pregnant?

And—

[No. One thing at a time.]

What? No! No no no no no -- mystical sister!

[her mom, pregnant -- no. That is not what happened]

Monks turned the key to all dimensions into a girl. My sister. Used magic to make it seem like she was there the whole time.

[Okay, what.

It's not often that Giles is taken completely off-guard, but this...

There's a headache blooming behind his eyes. He can already feel it.]

And this... somehow caused your mother's death?

Well, her body wasn't built to take all the memories being shoved in there at once. There was a brain tumor, and there was surgery, and at first things were looking good, but ... there was a brain aneurysm.

[there's so many conflicting emotions there that she's still not over, but it is what it is, and it was nearly four years ago now.]

So ... after that, it was just me and Dawn.

[There is a considerable silence from Giles's end as he turns this information over in his mind and allows only the slightest hint of grief to creep in. There'll be plenty of time for that later—for now, he wants information.

And, okay.

Maybe he'll give her a little hug, if she lets him.]

I'm... terribly sorry, Buffy.

[she will take the hug. It may have been a long time ago, but hugs were still welcome]

It's okay. Well, it wasn't then, but it got better. Plus there was still a hellgod running around, so I had to deal with that. She still wanted Dawn, and I wasn't going to let that happen.

So...

[And now the pieces are coming together.]

This hellgod wanted Dawn because she was a key, yes?

Yup. She was banished from her old dimension and wanted back in. Problem was if she used Dawn to do it, she would destroy all the walls to all the universes, the world would collapse ... you know, usual bad guy end of the world stuff.

And she got close. She managed to get a hold of Dawn and use her blood to open the portal. We managed to knock her out before she could get to her world, but ... we still needed to close the portal. We needed Dawn's blood to close it, but doing so would kill her.

[a beat, because this is the sad part, and the part that he's not going to like more than anything she did with Spike]

She's my sister, Giles.

[Giles nods as he listens, expression softening at that last bit.]

No, no. I understand. It's... well, I suppose it's no stranger than most of what happened back in Sunnydale, but... I understand.

You... stopped this from happening, obviously.

[nods]

I jumped into the portal instead of Dawn. Her blood is my blood so ... I counteracted what Glory did to open the portal in the first place.

But ... still meant that I ...

[and she's going to leave you to draw the conclusions on that one yourself]

[Conclusions are drawn, but slowly.

He really can't process all of this at once.

As the realization of what she's saying dawns on him, he pales visibly, eyes widening to the point where he looks genuinely shocked.]

Buffy...

[WHY DOES HIS SLAYER'S LIFE SUCK SO MUCH?]

[because she's a Slayer, Giles. Because she's a Slayer. her head drops, and the rest of this is said mostly to her lap]

Willow brought me back, later, but ... it wasn't the same. I wasn't the same. I went through a really rough time, and ... Spike sort of fell into that. It wasn't ... anything like it was with Angel, it just ... was.

[please don't ask her to go into further detail, she thinks that there's been enough uncomfortable sharing for the day]

[He knows better than to pry right now. Instead, he nods, and decides to just... leave it, for the moment. He wants to know more, of course—he wants to know everything—but he's never seen Buffy look quite as tired as she does now, and it's a bit unnerving, to say the least.]

I see.

Thank you for explaining. I'll—

...I think I'm going to make some tea. Care to join me?

Yes. Tea sounds ... good.

[so long as they don't have to talk about her? She would go with him to the moon]

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